Dear JJ

Dear Jimmy Johns,

I am ever so glad I got over that whole food poisoning mishap from five years ago and can now embrace your fresh bread and freakishly fast service. I am delighted by the fact that you label one of your chip varieties as Thinny Chips, as the name alone makes me pair my nitrate-packed, preservative-filled, iceberg-laden sandwich with their salty goodness without batting an eye. (Or looking at the nutrition label.) The fact that you pack a whole lot of these Thinny Chips into each thinny little bag is awesome as well.

I do, however, have a request. Please add a drive-through to the Fenton location. I already bought the Thinny Chips and took a pass on the slice of cheese, so really, I find it rather unnecessary to expend extra calories by getting in and out of the car. I'm sure you understand.

Until you poison me again,
Debbie

No need to read it, just sign here

Well, it's official. Brian and Sherri are moving.

Brian signed the paperwork for their new house last night. Since Sherri couldn't go then, she signed everything this morning. After signing in 20+ places, Brian snapped the document closed and said, "Okay, great. The divorce is final. And you and Hunter get nothing."

Only my brother-in-law could make a joke about sending his pregnant wife penniless and out into the cold with the more obnoxious of their two obnoxious Labs.

But I do think it's funny. But only because Chip didn't think to say the same thing to me last summer when we signed the paperwork for our mortgage refinance.

Pebbles is put out

Mary Clare's not a fan of the backyard traffic. If it's not a detour because poop patrol is slow on the pick-up, it's getting stuck behind a Lab who is on the prowl for squirrels. Either way, it's always something.

She does, however, love to rock the Pebbles-style pony. I'm still not 100% behind this look, but it does keep the hair out of her eyes. And it means she's not tossing hair bows here and there. So that's a good thing.

But if she ever wants to snag herself a cute little Bamm-Bamm, she's going to need to embrace the hair bows.

Reason #253 why my sister is funny without meaning to be

Before I launch into Reason #253 of why my sister is funny without meaning to be, I'll give you some background. Brian and Sherri have been casually house hunting for a month or so. Last night they found a place worth considering, so Sherri sent my mom and I some photos that the owner had posted. The house and setting are great, and most of the photos had lovely captions that included words like park like, peaceful, calm and serene. Of course I had to say something.

Rabble rousing Me: I bet you can't wait to revel in the serene, natural beauty as your two crazy Labs tear through the park like setting.

Indignant Sherri: They're not always crazy, you know.

Contrite Me: I know, I know. (pause) I see there's a fenced portion. That's nice.

Lab Lover Sherri: Yeah, we'll have to put up a new one, though. The dogs would totally tear it down.

You have to love the irony. And the blind devotion of a mother who loves her two large dogs. Hunter and Holly don't know how lucky they are.

Atonement

This photo is my peace offering for last night's Debbie Downer of a post. You must accept it. No one can say no to Little Miss Sunshine.

Speaking of Mary Clare, and, more specifically, her attire. I feel I must give snaps to the people responsible for her natty Easter attire and accessories. My mom, of course, made the dress. As well as a matching dress for her Bitty Baby. Because that's what she does. She's super mom. She also cranked out the basket liner, which includes Mary Clare's name on the front. (I heart her snazzy new sewing machine.) And the bow is of course from Amanda Hehmeyer. Being the good mom that I am, I went ahead and took care of the tights and shoes.

Wow. Tights and shoes. Since that's a rather poor showing, I'm going to give myself snaps for giving Mary Clare that sweet face. But that brown hair and those baby curls are definitely from her dad.

Back with a whining vengeance

The family is all healthy again, but now I'm just well, overwhelmed. Not in any special way, just the same overwhelmed phase that every other person goes through from time to time. So, sorry, no fun drama. But this does mean that you only get bullet points. Oh, and lots of stories about poop.

• Leading up to Easter: Mary Clare started Pukefest 2010 the Wednesday night before Easter. While Chip was at class, of course. As I'm sure many of you can attest, there is nothing quite as fantastic as changing the linens on a crib three times in a two-hour time span. Thankfully the upchucking was short lived, and our helpful parents were able to keep her the next two days while she recuperated.

• Good Friday: So, I've always thought that Good Friday was an oxymoron if there ever was one. But maybe I missed something during my 12 years of Catholic school. Either way, this year Good Friday really lived up to the irony for me. Anyway, Mary Clare and I headed out to Highland that night so Chip could stay at home and work on his paper without interruptions. We went with my parents to our dear friends' home for their annual soup supper. Mary Clare was feeling pretty chipper by this point, and it was nice to see everyone. We get home, we're playing outside and suddenly my mom walks out with two empty cookie platters. While we were gone, Buddy took it upon himself to hop on the dining room table and eat 40 meticulously decorated Easter sugar cookies. Forty cookies. All lovingly made for Mary Clare and Brennan. And just like that, Buddy plummeted from Granddog #1 to Granddog #3. (Oh, and save it, Sherri. You know up until the cookie incident Buddy was so in the #1 spot.)

• Easter Saturday: I wake up at midnight, only to discover that that little stinker peacefully snoozing in the pack and play by my bed gave me the blasted flu bug. The fun continues throughout the night. I call Chip in the morning to discover it hit him at exactly the same time. So, while I rest, my sister gives Mary Clare and Brennan a bath. Mary Clare poops in the tub. Sherri whips them out of the tub, and she and my dad tackle clean up. Mary Clare and Brennan start running around the house naked, and Mary Clare ends up in the kitchen with my mom, where she proceeds to poop on the floor right by the back door. This is a holy mess not only because of the poop, but because all three 80 lb. dogs decide they must go outside right then, and the only thing standing between them and freedom is a pile of poop. I woke up about an hour after all of this happened and immediately wanted to go back to bed. Nothing like having your entire family be on everyone's shit list. Literally.
  

• Easter: Nice day. Chip and I felt like crud, but the weather was beautiful and Mary Clare looked like a little doll in the dress my mom made for her. So we rallied and knocked out mass followed by Easter with my dad's family and then Easter with Chip's family.

• Post-Easter Puking: So, the flu bug ... it was potent. People would come down with it like clockwork every 48 hours. Brennan got it Sunday night and then it hit Brian on Tuesday night. Sherri escaped it, probably only because she's on prenatal vitamins right now and has all those crazy pregnancy hormones firing off at random. We still weren't in the clear, though. Chip went to the doctor for strep on Monday (he was cleared, thankfully), and I went on Tuesday for an ENT infection (I was not so lucky).

So, now that everyone is healthy, I just have to deal with the normal jumble of stuff that is causing me concern, such as:

• The layers of pollen coating every surface in our house. I love you, Tower Grove Park, but enough is enough.
  
• The rooster that my neighbor won't get rid of, city laws and court orders be damned. (My friend Sue has expressed an interest in seeing if chickens really do run around after losing their heads, and well, I think she should come on over and test this out.)
  
• The fact that Chip's parents are moving into a townhouse (read: drastic downsize) and soon piles of memorabilia, furniture and other household items will surely find their way into my basement. My beautiful, impeccable, recently cleaned and organized basement. Oh, the humanity.
• The shortage of champagne in our house. We're out. Completely out. And have been for some time. I don't like to talk about it.
  
• The amount of whining I've done of late. Seriously, it's pretty bad. But you know that, if you got this far.
  

So, with that, I am declaring war on the whining and will now be the kind of chipper person that makes other people not like them so much. But you ... you will love it.

And since now I'm chipper just like that, it is my pleasure to offer you our April photos to date. Click here and enjoy the super cuteness that is Mary Clare in her Easter dress holding a baby doll wearing a matching Easter dress. (My mom is too much. I love it.)

TB is ill

This face pretty much sums up how everyone at the House of Lindh is feeling these days. Stomach flu, allergies, ENT infections and the like.

But when will the blogging lady be back?

As soon as I knock out all of the bugs this little stinker gave me. A few good sleeps should do it.